The Caveman DNA | Carnal Cravings, Unfiltered.


The Delightful Dick Guide: Understanding Your Intimate Interactions

Growing up in a conservative, all-girls Catholic school, the idea was that the first man you sleep with should be the man you marry – bullshit. 

But let’s face it, in an environment as limiting as that, you believed it at some point. You believed it because you were brainwashed for years that sex is immoral and saving yourself for the “right one” is good. 

You believed it because you saw it in your parents (at least one of them), so you thought the perfect love story had that “first and last” factor for it to work. And most of all, you believed because you didn’t know jack shit about this thing called “life.”

Now, I’m not here to tell you to believe either, or you’re not dumb enough for that. But I am here to tell you how I learned one thing – how a guy’s dick correlates to how your relationship would be.

The 3 Greatest Dicks Of Your Life

After realizing that you can, after all, not settle for anything less than what you deserve, you might find yourself exploring the realms of dating. Or maybe not even that, maybe just the fun, no strings attached part *wink wink.* 

So, how exactly can you rank the greatest lays in your life?

The Micro Dick


The micro dick doesn’t have to be literal, although it could be since this dick is the first dick ever to penetrate your life. It’s the dick you had no comparison of, so you thought, “huh, so that’s what it’s like.” 

You probably thought that was as good as it gets and settled with one orgasm now and then. It’s like your sexual awakening – your first dive into the uncharted waters of your lustful pleasures. 

But sadly, it’s not enough. This dick, remarkable as it may be, just isn’t getting it right. It sticks to moves you can count, probably in the order you can already predict. You can try, but doing all the work just to get an orgasm will soon feel unfair, especially when it comes so quickly to him. 

The Micro Dick may be the first, but it won’t certainly be good enough to be your last. So you let it go.

My Micro Dick experience was my first boyfriend. We were both young, and while he had more experience than I ever did, he lacked the talent to get me off consistently. 

Don’t get me wrong; he gave me my first orgasm. Maybe out of sheer luck or it was the build-up of having my first ever night out to have my cherry popped. 

But as the relationship progressed, he became lazy. I could literally tell when it was time to change positions and when to start sucking. When he was about to finish (miles ahead of me), and when it was time for me to step up so I could at least feel something going on in my loins. 

It was the moment I realized that my Catholic school upbringing was out the window. If getting an orgasm meant I had to do all the work while a dick was inside me, what’s the point? 

The moving on phase. You’ve tasted the big O and want to learn more about what makes you roll your eyes out in bed. It is probably the stage where you’d explore toys – vibrators, dildos, lubes, and the whole shebang of items that promise carnal pleasuring. 

Fun as these sound, though, they are JUST. NOT. THE. REAL DEAL.

The Magnum: The Almost Delightful Dick


So you “play the field.” Date here and there, maybe sleep with some of them, and then it happens. The moment you didn’t think was possible – your jaw drops at the sight of a dick so big you’re unsure if it excites or scares you.

But you’re competitive. You don’t just back down from a challenge; you welcome it. So as much as the thought of this giant cock entering you is daunting, you go for it. Initially, it hurts like a mother – because, my god, this thing is enormous. 

Then it becomes tolerable, and you’d be surprised at how your pussy can handle it. Dicks like these are a hit-and-miss – they either use it to make sure you both have banging sex or let their ego get the best of them and assume that the size is all they need. 

Let’s face it, though, and I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but more often than not, guys don’t know jack shit about how to use their dicks. Sometimes, size works – it reaches what no average size dick does. 

I once dated someone who had a big dick. Girth-wise, it was probably average, but the length made it seem bigger. I had to stall to prepare for that thing to be inside me. 

It didn’t feel so bad at first. He even reached areas that I didn’t know were erogenous points. He didn’t even have to do much to make me feel filled. But in general, it hurt more than it gave pleasure. 

Certain angles hurt. Certain positions make you feel like your organs move out of place, and the varying speeds could either make you bend backward in pleasure or make you feel like a bulldozer is ramming you. 

At this point, you already have an idea of what works best for you to get to finish. So much as the Macro Dick fills you up more than any Micro Dick or toy could ever do, it still isn’t quite the one.

Perfecto: Delightful Dick Defined


Okay, perfect might be an exaggeration, but it’s the dick that tops all the other dicks in your life. It’s not tiny, it’s not hurt-your-organs-big, but it’s got character. It’s big enough to get your pussy stretching to its pleasurable limit. 

Maybe it even comes with a tip that makes the in and out motions oh, so, fucking fantastic. Whatever your description of the perfect length and girth, this dick is the one that gets you going, EVERY. DAMN. TIME. 

Because of that satisfaction rate, you’re willing to test the waters with that delightful dick. Try positions you haven’t even considered before. Try it in places you didn’t think you’d ever do it. 

All because this perfect dick has got you wanting more, more than you’ve ever had with anyone else. 

My Perfect Dick is the guy that has been consistently giving me mind-blowing orgasms for more than a year now. He’s a man of few words, so it surprised me that he can do me like that. 

He’s got me wanting it in the car on a random afternoon, in the parking lot between errands, on the couch in my family’s house. Hell, he even got me wet, just grinding on me in a swimming pool on a hot summer day. 

It’s not because he sweet-talks me into getting horny. I’m not that easy, to be honest. It’s how he puts work into it. 

It’s how he takes his sweet ass time as he eats me. The tantric tease he does to get me begging for him to put his delightful dick inside me. And when he does, my god, does it feel heavenly.

You can never tell if it’s a temporary spell or because you’ve found your match. But whatever it is, don’t let this dick go for as long as possible. Because let’s face it, you got needs, girl. 

And if this delightful dick gets it right, what dumb reason could you have to let it go to waste?

Your (Reliable) Delightful Dick Guide: You’re Welcome

In a world where society dictates women to settle, some things are not worth compromising. Sex is a need, ladies. You can’t go through life with okay to no orgasms. 

That’s no way to live. Dicks may come (pun intended) and go, but satisfying your carnal cravings should always come first. 

So explore, evaluate, and learn what gets you going. Your future self will thank you for it.

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