I’ve never had a forgettable first date in my entire adult life. Nada. Zilch. In all my initial romantic ventures with women I’ve met online and in the real world, I’ve always had a 100% success rate.
That might come off as clickbait from a digital-age snake oil salesman. But as you read, you’ll realize it’s all common sense. And for some reason, it flew out the window for many of you.
Then again, it’s probably dumb luck. You be the judge.
Set the Tone Strategically
I understand many of us aren’t willing to spend much for a supposedly flawless first date. And why would you? There isn’t a guarantee for a second one.
This is where your creativity comes in. A free yoga class for two would be a start. Dressing up isn’t a requirement. In fact, it is discouraged. And you get to see each other scantily clad, glistening in sweat. You just put a little dent in the intimacy barriers right there.
The setting could be anywhere: music festivals, museums, whisky tastings. A walk in the park and being amidst nature. Any place that would make you spend quality time together and get to know each other. That leads us to the next point.
Get to Know Them Seriously
The goal of every first date is straightforward and clear: to get a feel of their vibe and see if this person is worth spending time with. And getting there requires attentiveness.
Listen to what they have to say. Ask questions about fond childhood memories and their favorite songs to cry to or fuck with. Be legitimately interested. Everyone has a story to tell.
This is where you start almost effortlessly to peel those outer layers. Are you liking what you’re seeing underneath so far? If yes, no problem. Otherwise, you have to decide: do you give it another shot for date number two? Or do you shake hands at the night’s end and say you’ll keep in touch (when you really won’t)?
But this, I’d say, is most important: don’t make it about yourself AT ALL. I tell you, everyone appreciates a good listener, and it will pay dividends throughout the night.
A decent person would eventually realize that it’s time to turn the tables of the conversation. Then you have the floor. But don’t embellish too much, as the next point will tell you.
Take that in the most literal form. Don’t pretend to be somebody you’re not. I don’t know why people resort to this, honestly. Faking it ‘til you make it takes unnecessary effort, and people will see through the bullshit.
Many of us misjudge the notion of putting the best foot forward. It’s about showing your best self. That version you’re most proud of and offers the best image of being a sensible member of society. Not that difficult, right? Supposedly.
In my experience, here’s one of the few sure paths to a flawless first date: think of it like a job interview. You want to get in their good graces, but you won’t go overboard with how you do it.
You’re trying to win them over and choose you. How would you approach that?
Should You Put Out?
Here’s the million-dollar question. And in this day and age, the answer isn’t black and white. Thanks to the rise of dating apps that allow you to express attraction with a single swipe to the right, bumping uglies is a matter of when rather than an if.
I have zero experience in this realm. You can say your boy is a bit old-fashioned in this regard, but it’s more about paranoia than passé beliefs.
What could appear as a steamy end of the night you can pat yourself on the back for can quickly turn into allegations of sexual assault, for one. It’s an occupational hazard for anyone with a penis, I guess.
So I asked someone who’s treaded these waters: none other than our resident sultry seductress, Mia Loren. She describes the entire first-date fornication in one word: complex.
It’s all about your goal. If you just want to bang one out then you go for it with the thought of having nothing to lose. On the other hand, if you really like the person, you might want to consider not rushing that part of the relationship.
Of course, going all the way after that first meet-up isn’t for everybody. But like her adventurous soul, Mia recommends trying it at least once for the learning experience. It does, of course, come with a caveat.
While it’s a battle between feeling like a slut and owning your sexuality, it makes you feel brave one way or another. The former took over the latter, though, but that’s just me.
Simply put, use your best judgment. A flawless first date doesn’t necessarily have to end in someone’s bed. Sometimes, all it takes is five simple words accompanied by a warm, genuine smile: I had a great time.
That is a solid performance indicator, with a 90% chance of a second date. You did it right. Be proud of yourself.
Guarantee Yourself a Flawless First Date Experience
Here’s the part where you throw all preconceived notions out the window. At the end of the day (or, in this case, the night), a flawless first date isn’t solely about your killer smile or ‘having game.’ It all comes down to the connection you build between you two.
Acting like a decent human who shows genuine interest shouldn’t be difficult. It should supersede any end goal you may have.
Like I said a few times, don’t just take my word for it. And again, you’re welcome.