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My Mother Is Livia Soprano In The Flesh

Ah, yes. The smell of toxic air in the morning.

If you watched the first two seasons of The Sopranos and thought Tony’s mother, Livia, was purely a product of fiction, let me tell you something: David Chase was not exaggerating. 

I remember him saying Livia was a representation of his own mother. This dark presence sucked the life out of everyone around her. Livia Soprano wallowed in self-pity whenever Tony called her out for her bullshit. She even tried to have him disposed of, which I would say is where the exaggeration comes in. But I’m not saying it isn’t impossible. 

I grew up with a mother who knew no affection. She introduced me to the wonderful world of gaslighting, emotional immaturity, and displaced rage. I have seeds of anger buried in my soul. But hey, I think I turned out fine. 

During one therapy session, I asked her, “Why did you become a mother?” No answer. 

I have my theories. She obviously has her fair share of childhood hang-ups, but instead of dealing with them, she dumped it all on her children. Lucky me. 

Some people aren’t meant to be parents, and that’s OK. But if you choose to raise a child with your unaddressed, deep-seated traumas, you’re part of the problem. In fact, you ARE the problem. And you don’t deserve respect. 

Livia Soprano wasn’t a mere caricature. She represents all narcissistic mothers with an extra serving of borderline personality disorder. And I hope you’re happy with your disservice to your children. 

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